I remember the first time I had my heart broken. I was 16 and my ex-boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue? (Jerk! just kidding I’m over it) This short 2-month relationship left me pretty bruised. I had never experienced rejection before, and cried for two weeks straight feeling ugly and worthless. I also haven’t uttered the words “I love you” to any of my boyfriends for the past 9 years. I know that I wasn’t in love at 16, but at 25, the idea of giving my heart away and having someone rip it into a million little pieces still haunts me. I guess, I’ll have to wait for someone super duper special in order to take that risk.
I also never realized how much work relationships take until the past few years. For some reason, I thought you locked eyes with the love of your life and lived happily ever after. (I blame Disney) But, it takes a lot more than just flirty eye contact to make a relationship work.
So since Valentine’s Day is approaching, I’ve decided to share the love lessons I’ve learned over the years, not only from romantic relationships, but also from friendships and family.
- Be Yourself: You should love and approve of yourself 100% before getting involved with someone else. I used to date a guy almost 10 years older than I, and felt like a Stepford wife whenever we were together. I wasn’t myself at all, I’m usually someone who cracks a lot of jokes and drops the F bomb a lot, but with him I had to act proper at all times. The whole frigid b*tch thing wasn’t really for me.
- Watch your words: I hate confrontation, because I’m really good at it. I turn into baby hulk, I will fight until I win and therefore say some things I don’t really mean. Words are so powerful, and can’t be taken back once they are said out loud. Whenever I feel like fighting with any of my loved ones, I take deep breaths, walk to calm down, or call someone I can confide in to blow off the steam.
- Communicate: Duh! No one wants to be in a relationship with the wall or Casper, the friendly ghost. I learned it’s important to communicate feelings in a sane way, you should feel 100% comfortable with the person you are dating and not bottle up any negative emotions because you may end up developing feelings of resentment towards him/her.
- Don’t make assumptions: You shouldn’t make assumptions in any aspect of your life, but especially in relationships. Stay in the present moment and if there is something you don’t understand about your partner, just ask him/her to clear it up.
Ultimately, relationships take time and a lot of hard work! Nothing worth having comes easy, and don’t we tend to appreciate the things we work so hard for more than the things that are given to us, anyway? I know I do.
Any love lessons you’ve learned throughout your dating years?